Quis custodiet ipso custodem?

Currently in earphones: Corvus Corax's Cantus Buranus

Well, let me just say that I'm quite pleased with how Phil's 21st B-day Bash went, not that it was entirely different from the other house parties we've been having, but that I've finally found my place among them.

Earlier I posted about how I like to have some time to myself, how I can only handle so much at a time. This still kinda applies, but another side of it was that getting drunk and making a fool of myself that usually constitutes "partying" (when it comes to this type of shindig) doesn't appeal to me (well, the getting drunk part, at least, I can be a goofy son-of-a-gun dead sober to begin with).

After the real party peoples started showing up last night, I made my usual retreat to my room, but after a while realized I was still up to socializing. After all, there were some really good friends of mine out there who I would have loved to stay and hobnob with (not that I didn't do so beforehand, the crowds triggered my solitary sense). After going out and aimlessly standing about, I realized that there were quite an abundance of empty bottles and cups sitting around, so I did what I do best and cleaned them up.

As I did so, and noticed that the trash needed to be taken out as well, I realized that I was feeling better in the act of cleaning up. I normally take pleasure in keeping things clean to begin with, and I suddenly found a new place within the festivities. I could keep things in a reasonable order, therefore giving me a sense of purpose within the shindig, and use that to amble around and chat with people. Without that sense of purpose, I felt like a vagrant, joining in conversations here and there, but without any real sense of belonging. Suddenly, I had a reason to be hanging out with a bunch of people I didn't know (not to mention those who I did, but that wouldn't have stopped me to begin with). It felt wonderful.

Maybe it was also because I didn't have to deal with any over-enthusiastic drunks, maybe it was because the party was smaller than before. But whatever the reason, I have suddenly found my calling. It probably also helped that there were people there from all over, so I wasn't the only one who was standing off to the side. I had fun assuring the new arrivals that I would be remaining sober for the evening, and if they needed anything to simply ask. It felt so good to find my niche, that of responsible host, and doing so was awesome.

Also, I'm getting used to the fact that when I tell people I only have a drink or two at parties, they treat me with pity. As if I didn't enjoy remaining sober! "All the better to remember your shenanigans, my dear."


Enough, More Later.
- James