Currently in Earphones: "The Twa Corbies" by Old Blind Dogs
Tonight, We shall Work.
We shall put on our boots with loathing, step out into the cold,
Retrieve our old love where it lies buried in the snow,
We shall carry it in and place it, in the dark once again,
And hasten to our work, to cleanse us of our pain.
Tonight, We shall Work.
We shall step to the forge, kindle the fires, heat the coals,
And try to blaze out the emptiness of our soul.
Give over our minds to the hammer and tongs,
And hope (with such sweat) to feel better before long.
Tonight, We shall Work.
We shall sit at the loom, speed the shuttle, begin to weave,
To lose ourselves and forget how to grieve,
Our souls we shall pour into the pattern laid bare
With deft fingers and quick mind, to lose all our care.
Tonight, We shall Work.
We shall spin the wheel, start the mould, work the clay
That we may smooth out the worries of the day.
As we wash the shape anew, so wash hate from our hands
And shape our souls like the clay, as stern fate commands.
Tonight, We shall Work.
After, we shall return to our hearth and our home
How we’ll feel, we shan’t know, either stay or to roam.
We’ll sleep as we can, at the end of long day,
And as to our dreams, they’ll come as they may.
Tonight, We shall Work.
Enough, More Later.
- James
Showing posts with label blah-ness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blah-ness. Show all posts
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A thousand times Ugh
Currently in Earphones: Plunkett and MacLean soundtrack by Craig Armstrong
Ugh. It's been fairly quiet in the house as of late. Had a nice weekend back at home and have had a few visits by fencing friends (usually invited over by Phil, and heartily endorsed by me). However, no amount of that, Ian Fleming, Sir Walter Scott or Susanna Clarke can lift my current funk.
As most of you know by now, I had to let go of a wonderful relationship about a year back, and she who left for the green land shall be returning in the matter of a few weeks. Though she has felt horribly about the whole situation and much grief was to be had on both sides, she wishes to continue the friendship we once had. As you all also know by now, I am still very much in love with her, but despite her good will towards me and though it has not been stated outright, I do not believe she would wish to continue where we left off.
A series of slow revelations has shown her to have moved on, becoming involved with another and from the looks of things, continue to carry on her relationship upon her return. I have only wished for her happiness, and though it tears me in two to know that I am not the one to give it to her, I know that it is for the best that she does what she does. The last thing I would want would be to cause her grief, for she deserves happiness. I cannot be the one to deny it to her.
Yet still a small part of me hopes that perhaps I still mean enough to her to rekindle what was old, but it is a slim and foolish hope, and one that will most likely need be snuffed. I still have two long weeks, and I fear I shall not improve by stewing upon the matter.
Good friends, I implore you: give me your time as you are able that I may improve by your company. I have brooded enough upon this matter of the heart and could use more cheerful times. All of your thoughts, conversations and laughter are sorely missed in my solitude, and any time you could give me would lighten my spirit. Contact me however you will, for I eagerly await your company.
Enough. More Later,
- James
Ugh. It's been fairly quiet in the house as of late. Had a nice weekend back at home and have had a few visits by fencing friends (usually invited over by Phil, and heartily endorsed by me). However, no amount of that, Ian Fleming, Sir Walter Scott or Susanna Clarke can lift my current funk.
As most of you know by now, I had to let go of a wonderful relationship about a year back, and she who left for the green land shall be returning in the matter of a few weeks. Though she has felt horribly about the whole situation and much grief was to be had on both sides, she wishes to continue the friendship we once had. As you all also know by now, I am still very much in love with her, but despite her good will towards me and though it has not been stated outright, I do not believe she would wish to continue where we left off.
A series of slow revelations has shown her to have moved on, becoming involved with another and from the looks of things, continue to carry on her relationship upon her return. I have only wished for her happiness, and though it tears me in two to know that I am not the one to give it to her, I know that it is for the best that she does what she does. The last thing I would want would be to cause her grief, for she deserves happiness. I cannot be the one to deny it to her.
Yet still a small part of me hopes that perhaps I still mean enough to her to rekindle what was old, but it is a slim and foolish hope, and one that will most likely need be snuffed. I still have two long weeks, and I fear I shall not improve by stewing upon the matter.
Good friends, I implore you: give me your time as you are able that I may improve by your company. I have brooded enough upon this matter of the heart and could use more cheerful times. All of your thoughts, conversations and laughter are sorely missed in my solitude, and any time you could give me would lighten my spirit. Contact me however you will, for I eagerly await your company.
Enough. More Later,
- James
Monday, May 07, 2007
I defer to the more experienced, here...
Currently in Earphones: Corvus Corax's Tritonus
So, about a month ago, a fairly good friend sent me an e-mail that took me a bit off guard in that it was fairly odd, even for her. The subject matter itself was nothing big or worrisome, but it was somewhat strange, and I couldn't quite tell what to make of it. Was she just goofing around? Being sincere? Something else? In any case, I was unsure how to respond, but did so anyway, and in a my usual wry fashion, or so I thought.
I could go on and on about how Computer Mediated Communication is a "lean medium," in that vocal and physical subtleties are easily lost in it. Hell, I wrote my final paper on it for Communications 3 in my Sophomore year, so you would figure that I might know better. The long and the short of it was that she took my response to be far more dry and sarcastic than I had intended it to be, evidently on the point of being insulting, and her following response was very clear that she wasn't pleased with what she had gotten out of my missive.
I found myself at a stand-still: Being the guy that I am, I hate confrontation, and this chain of communication was making me more and more uncomfortable. However, she was a good enough friend that I was upset by what had befallen, but I found myself not caring enough to immediately rectify the situation. Exhibiting the typical guy behavior, I didn't touch the matter further, and of course I haven't resumed any form of communication with her since then.
Currently I've been reminded that she's still around, and the fact that we haven't talked in ages, and I've reached a conundrum that is most likely a lost cause. I keep going back and forth: On one hand, I do miss her company and conversation, but on the other, I wonder if I truly care enough to work at resuming this friendship. However, I've probably screwed myself royally by divesting myself of the situation to begin with.
For those of you older and wiser than myself, all I ask is if you've had such experiences yourself, or if you have any advice on the whole subject. Try to keep any "told-you-so's" to a minimum, I know I've most likely been an ass about the whole thing. Anything else would be appreciated, though.
Thanks, all!
Enough, More Later.
- James
So, about a month ago, a fairly good friend sent me an e-mail that took me a bit off guard in that it was fairly odd, even for her. The subject matter itself was nothing big or worrisome, but it was somewhat strange, and I couldn't quite tell what to make of it. Was she just goofing around? Being sincere? Something else? In any case, I was unsure how to respond, but did so anyway, and in a my usual wry fashion, or so I thought.
I could go on and on about how Computer Mediated Communication is a "lean medium," in that vocal and physical subtleties are easily lost in it. Hell, I wrote my final paper on it for Communications 3 in my Sophomore year, so you would figure that I might know better. The long and the short of it was that she took my response to be far more dry and sarcastic than I had intended it to be, evidently on the point of being insulting, and her following response was very clear that she wasn't pleased with what she had gotten out of my missive.
I found myself at a stand-still: Being the guy that I am, I hate confrontation, and this chain of communication was making me more and more uncomfortable. However, she was a good enough friend that I was upset by what had befallen, but I found myself not caring enough to immediately rectify the situation. Exhibiting the typical guy behavior, I didn't touch the matter further, and of course I haven't resumed any form of communication with her since then.
Currently I've been reminded that she's still around, and the fact that we haven't talked in ages, and I've reached a conundrum that is most likely a lost cause. I keep going back and forth: On one hand, I do miss her company and conversation, but on the other, I wonder if I truly care enough to work at resuming this friendship. However, I've probably screwed myself royally by divesting myself of the situation to begin with.
For those of you older and wiser than myself, all I ask is if you've had such experiences yourself, or if you have any advice on the whole subject. Try to keep any "told-you-so's" to a minimum, I know I've most likely been an ass about the whole thing. Anything else would be appreciated, though.
Thanks, all!
Enough, More Later.
- James
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
A pair of ragged claws...
Currently in Earphones "Main Theme" from The Ususal Suspects Soundtrack by John Ottman (on endless repeat)
"Me miserum! certas habuit puer ille saggitas. / uror, et in vacuo pectore regnat Amor."
- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid), Amores 1.1, lines 25-26
"Miserable me! That boy has precise arrows. / I burn, and love reigns in my empty heart."
While Ovid wasn't considered the most honest poet about love (seeing that his Amores are highly sarcastic and his Ars Amatoria are essentially a guide to getting laid), I find pieces of his poems fitting out of context.
In the above mentioned, he very wittily writes about how he was going to write an epic poem, but Cupid came down and took a metric foot away from the second line of his couplets, transforming the poem from a Heroic dactylic hexameter to a Lyric construction.
"Damn you, Cupid!" he says, essentially, "Now I'm in love but with no-one to be in love with!"
I feel his pain on a Catullus-like level.
Enough, More Later.
- James
"Me miserum! certas habuit puer ille saggitas. / uror, et in vacuo pectore regnat Amor."
- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid), Amores 1.1, lines 25-26
"Miserable me! That boy has precise arrows. / I burn, and love reigns in my empty heart."
While Ovid wasn't considered the most honest poet about love (seeing that his Amores are highly sarcastic and his Ars Amatoria are essentially a guide to getting laid), I find pieces of his poems fitting out of context.
In the above mentioned, he very wittily writes about how he was going to write an epic poem, but Cupid came down and took a metric foot away from the second line of his couplets, transforming the poem from a Heroic dactylic hexameter to a Lyric construction.
"Damn you, Cupid!" he says, essentially, "Now I'm in love but with no-one to be in love with!"
I feel his pain on a Catullus-like level.
Enough, More Later.
- James
Thursday, December 21, 2006
The Riddle of Steel: Why the hell is it between my ribs?
Currently in Earphones: Gone with Leaves and In the Chess Court by Tan Dun, from the Hero Soundtrack.
We're Sorry, you were unable to connect to James at 128.161.1.9
He is currently under maintainance and should be back up shortly, if more affairs of the heart don't keep knocking him down. Rest assured, we have initiated the "Tubthumping" protocol to keep him semi-functional when he is intermittantly on his feet, so when you are able to connect, he will be mostly all there.
We apologize for the inconveniance and ask that you try again in a few minutes/days/weeks/years, or whenever this whole mess is behind him.
P.S. - If you are a female friend or interested female, contact with James will most likely speed his recovery and keep him up and about for longer periods. We, his personality and endurance, have had a hard time of it since his hope chickened out.
Thanks again for your patience!
Enough, More Later.
- James
We're Sorry, you were unable to connect to James at 128.161.1.9
He is currently under maintainance and should be back up shortly, if more affairs of the heart don't keep knocking him down. Rest assured, we have initiated the "Tubthumping" protocol to keep him semi-functional when he is intermittantly on his feet, so when you are able to connect, he will be mostly all there.
We apologize for the inconveniance and ask that you try again in a few minutes/days/weeks/years, or whenever this whole mess is behind him.
P.S. - If you are a female friend or interested female, contact with James will most likely speed his recovery and keep him up and about for longer periods. We, his personality and endurance, have had a hard time of it since his hope chickened out.
Thanks again for your patience!
Enough, More Later.
- James
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Finals, which I should be studying for...
Currently in Earphones: "Non e gran causa," "Dum pater familias" and "Lux optata claruit" from Sinners and Saints
Quick interim post during finals week, yo.
For those of you interested, I've got a one-two punch classics on Tuesday (Tuesday, Tuesday TUESDAY!!) of Classics 3 and Latin 111. Then Philosophy 21 on Weds, then Geo 2 on Saturday, of all things. I've got a fair-to-middlin' amount of studying for the first two under my belt, but I need to go through the rest of Martials epigrams and give my notes from Classics and second over. It would probably behoove me to at least glance at the review sheet for Philo, but I don't know if I'll get to it before Tuesday night.
Chapter 5 of A Story of Swords is on it's way, I've re-written the first chapter so it's more connected temporally and flows a bit better. It looks like the first completion of the story will be about 6 chapters long, but count on it growing by about a chapter or two. There's definitely going to be some gear shifts on the currently posted chapters as well once I get the final installment penned. The main thing that I feel the need to include is a clearer reason for the big altercation at the end, and I'm guessing all you smart people out there can figure out what's going to happen.
One last note concerning my tale, for all those wondering. This story is not my life, as it might seem. It is drawn from my life, in that I've picked and chosen certain facets and altered them to fit. I will come right out and say that our main character is mostly me, as if it isn't painfully obvious already. Every other character is bits and pieces of people I know, so the clever ones will probably be able to find similarities. Rest assured, none of this story has any resemblance to my life, and if it may have seemed so in the past, the story has fast overtaken any concurrent parallels smart people may be able to draw from it.
And that's enough of that, back to the books!
Enough, More Later.
- James
Quick interim post during finals week, yo.
For those of you interested, I've got a one-two punch classics on Tuesday (Tuesday, Tuesday TUESDAY!!) of Classics 3 and Latin 111. Then Philosophy 21 on Weds, then Geo 2 on Saturday, of all things. I've got a fair-to-middlin' amount of studying for the first two under my belt, but I need to go through the rest of Martials epigrams and give my notes from Classics and second over. It would probably behoove me to at least glance at the review sheet for Philo, but I don't know if I'll get to it before Tuesday night.
Chapter 5 of A Story of Swords is on it's way, I've re-written the first chapter so it's more connected temporally and flows a bit better. It looks like the first completion of the story will be about 6 chapters long, but count on it growing by about a chapter or two. There's definitely going to be some gear shifts on the currently posted chapters as well once I get the final installment penned. The main thing that I feel the need to include is a clearer reason for the big altercation at the end, and I'm guessing all you smart people out there can figure out what's going to happen.
One last note concerning my tale, for all those wondering. This story is not my life, as it might seem. It is drawn from my life, in that I've picked and chosen certain facets and altered them to fit. I will come right out and say that our main character is mostly me, as if it isn't painfully obvious already. Every other character is bits and pieces of people I know, so the clever ones will probably be able to find similarities. Rest assured, none of this story has any resemblance to my life, and if it may have seemed so in the past, the story has fast overtaken any concurrent parallels smart people may be able to draw from it.
And that's enough of that, back to the books!
Enough, More Later.
- James
Friday, November 17, 2006
Haec mala sunt, sed tu non meliora facis.
Currently in Earphones: Captain Blood Soundtrack by Erich Wolfgang Korngold
Alas, another interim post. I'm currently besieged by 3 papers (Philosophy, Classics and Latin) which has resulted in my dropping out of the Turkey Tourney. Hopefully I can finish the first and get started on the second this weekend, that is, when I'm not watching Casino Royale and making yummy food with my housemate, Sophia.
"A Story of Swords" is coming along, I'm partway into chapter 3 at the moment, but scholastic writing has to take precedent. Look for the next installment a week or two into December.
On the good news (yet somewhat poorly timed), a bunch of leisure items have collected in my room over the past week. A bunch of soundtracks must have all decided that after some crappy deliveries of previous items, they would arrive early and sequentially by day. In addition, Cindy is letting me borrow a bunch of fantasy novels, which are all turning out to be made of awesomeness. All of this would be excellent if I had more time to enjoy them, but as stated before, I've got a lot of academics on my plate at the moment.
That's all for now, tune in next time!
Enough. More later,
- James
Alas, another interim post. I'm currently besieged by 3 papers (Philosophy, Classics and Latin) which has resulted in my dropping out of the Turkey Tourney. Hopefully I can finish the first and get started on the second this weekend, that is, when I'm not watching Casino Royale and making yummy food with my housemate, Sophia.
"A Story of Swords" is coming along, I'm partway into chapter 3 at the moment, but scholastic writing has to take precedent. Look for the next installment a week or two into December.
On the good news (yet somewhat poorly timed), a bunch of leisure items have collected in my room over the past week. A bunch of soundtracks must have all decided that after some crappy deliveries of previous items, they would arrive early and sequentially by day. In addition, Cindy is letting me borrow a bunch of fantasy novels, which are all turning out to be made of awesomeness. All of this would be excellent if I had more time to enjoy them, but as stated before, I've got a lot of academics on my plate at the moment.
That's all for now, tune in next time!
Enough. More later,
- James
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